Knowledge
by keeperofcoldtoes
Summary: Kakashi gains a guest from another world: himself. Faced with his other self from another dimension, is it possible for him to deal with it? It doesn't help either that his other self is insufferable to the point that Kakashi contemplates killing him.
1. Melancholy

Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I meant to write pure angst but it came out humor! I wish my stories would actually go along with my plans for once! It seems as though I don't create the stories, but rather that the stories create themselves!

oOoOoOo

"Who are you really?" Tsunade glared at the shinobi before her.

"You don't believe me?"

The sannin leaned further over her desk, "Not at all."

oOo

Now really, who allowed that troublesome weed to do that?

Kakashi sighed as he stood up from his ever-so-comfortable log and approached the offending foliage. Seriously though, weren't there gardeners that attended to such things? Sure, a memorial wasn't generally something that a gardener paid particular attention to, since such stones were often forgotten in the space of time, but _surely_ not this stone?

Well, he might as well take care of it while he was there.

He pulled out a kunai and attacked the growth with the calm demeanor that a highly skilled ninja would give to an annoying group of bandits. The plant was persistant, but in the end it proved to be the one of weaker caliber.

"There we go," Kakashi muttered mostly to himself as he surveyed his work. Now the memorial was just as he remembered it last week.

A week was a rather long period of time for him to be away from it when faced with his usual daily routine, but he was used to the separation caused by his missions. Besides, he was here whenever he could be, and that's what mattered.

Deeming that order to the world been restored, Kakashi went back to his seat and took another bite of his granola bar that had been previously neglected.

He frowned at the familiar, mealy taste in his mouth. When was the last time he had a real breakfast anyway? Wait, he briefly recalled stopping to eat breakfast at a town he was passing through while on his mission. That had been a few days ago, while the rest of the days were spent in taking rations.

If it had been a long week without the bars, then he must have gotten tired of the food fast. Maybe he should switch back to fruit?

Kakashi sighed at his train of thoughts. He felt so distracted today. Then again, he hadn't felt much different in the past month. Maybe he should have purchased the brand of granola bars that claimed to increase focus? Or maybe he should go ask the Hokage for a really tough mission?

"I hate this," he said to himself idly. Actually, he wasn't entirely sure on what it was he claimed to hate. All he knew was that he felt something akin to boredom.

He probably should be grateful that there wasn't anything to be excited about, since anything exciting could include some tragedy like the village being rampaged or his granola bars tasting worse.

But lately, he didn't particularly feel as though his strength was progressing as much as it had (The Booger would probably say that his "Flames of Youth were dying"). His students were practically gone or leaving. He didn't really have a love interest. He even thought with progressing horror that his favorite books were probably never going to get another installment.

It seemed as though his life had become stagnant.

The copy-nin sighed once again and finally admitted to himself that he was probably just depressed. Probably. Maybe.

Reading books wasn't enough, maybe he just needed another hobby. His eyes traced the letters engraved on the stone before him. The subtle shine of the smooth rock reflected the rays from the rising sun.

Pottery.

What a strange thought. Of all the things, why would he even consider such a pursuit? He wasn't even all that fond of dirt and mud (getting boulders tossed at you can do that to a person). Then again, why not? He had always meant to see if he could develop a skill that had nothing to do with killing. Why not now? In fact, if he didn't take to it, he could always try something else.

Ideas filled his head. Thoughts of fishing, painting, dancing, cooking, and sleeping overflowed his mind.

Sleeping.

Wow.

Wouldn't that be a great achievement?

All of the sudden, he felt inspired. Maybe he had some sort of hidden talent just waiting to be discovered. So many things that he had always meant to try and now was as good a time as any to do them. In fact, he should go over to the village today and see what the world had to offer!

Realizing that he had already spent his usual time at the memorial, he gave it one last glance and headed on his way to start an entirely new journey.

This journey led him to the local information center.

He was briefly amused by the clerk who gave many puzzled expressions by the time he left. Then again, he supposed that it wasn't everyday a ninja came in asking for a bunch of brochures.

It was a nice day, so Kakashi decided to do his research outside.

Setting himself on a nearby bench, he got down to business. He randomly selected a pamplet and found that it was for a knitting club. He briefly imagined himself sitting among a bunch of old women talking about their adorable grandchildren.

Shaking his head at the thought, he tossed it to the side and selected another. He was surprised to find that it was for a modeling agency with a few "hot" men and women on the cover. So this was how people became models? He had always entertained the idea that models were actually people that got kidnapped based upon their good looks.

Out of curiosity, Kakashi opened the pamplet and was shocked to find a picture of Sasuke dressed in a fashion and poised in a manner that made his stomach turn. Maybe models really were kidnapped. If so, then he really couldn't blame Sasuke for leaving.

Kakashi was interrupted from his reverie by the sound of footsteps. Looking up, he recognized The Booger headed straight for him.

_Crap, he's already seen me. There's no way I can hide now_, Kakashi thought to himself and mentally prepared himself for the inevitable. It always seemed as though whenever he was busy with something Gai would always show up unannounced. Then rethinking, The Booger had a habit of announcing himself.

"Kakashi!" Gai boomed in his typical manner, "I have found you! Of course it should be expected since the bright Flames of Youth light my way!"

_Oh dear god_, Kakashi thought with annoyance, "Look Gai, I'm a little bu--

"I am here to inform you that the Hokage wishes to speak with you immediately! I have no idea on what it's about, but she expects you to come as soon as possible," the mad man said dutifully. To Kakashi's utter embarressment, he noticed the odd pile of papers and so caught sight of the pamplet in his hands that held the suggestive image of Sasuke.

Gai's face seemed to pale as he asked in a grave voice, "What . . . are you doing?"

"Nothing!" Kakashi said hurriedly and tossed the paper away, "I ran across it by accident."

There was a pause. Gai seemed to study him for a moment before changing the subject, "Anyway, did you do something to make the Hokage mad?"

Kakashi mulled over any possible reasons that Tsunade could be upset with him. Did it have something to do with the mission he had recently? Did he do or didn't do something during that time?

He couldn't think of anything of consequence so he replied in the negative and asked, "Did she seem very angry?"

"Uh," The Booger seemed to be at a loss for words, "Well . . . I don't think she was exactly angry. She acted more annoyed or upset when I talked with her."

Kakashi got amusement by of pointing out, "That's generally the definition of angry."

"Anyway . . . ," Gai trailed off and gained a thoughtful stare, "I was wondering, would it have anything to do with you seeing her this morning?"

"Eh?" was all the Kakashi could utter.

"She probably just forgot to tell you something important and got mad," Gai theorized.

"Gai," Kakashi hissed, "I didn't see the Hokage today."

Gai's eyes narrowed, "What? But I saw you go there this morning!"

Realization dawned upon him, "Someone's impersonating me?" For the first time in his life, Kakashi hoped that it was just Naruto causing mischief.

"Actually, now that I think about it," Gai started, "there was something about you that seemed off, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I can't believe I let this happen! I had a conversation with you--him today and he completely had me fooled!"

Kakashi quickly consoled the two of them by saying, "Well, everything must be fine now since it's probably the reason that Tsunade-sama wanted to meet me. If it was anything serious then she would have told you. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Naruto playing a prank."

They both calmed considerably at the explaination despite the fact that Naruto wouldn't be out of the hospital for some days. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry and so Kakashi departed with a wave, but not before grabbing a few random pamplets and stuffing them in his vest first. After all, this little ordeal wasn't going to stop him from his new quest.

oOo

Kakashi, for once, didn't take any detours when journeying to the Hokage's office. Really though, he wasn't that worried since from the way Gai had explained, he didn't think there was any immediate danger and no need to hurry. The only thing that was keeping him from stopping for a snack, taking a more scenic route, checking up on his students, or other occupations was that he was genuinely curious. So instead of trying to make sure he wasn't too late for a dangerous situation or going to his destination with a lazy and almost whimsical fashion, he actually walked with a normal pace and route for the first time in quite a while.

Due to his manner of travel, he arrived at the Hokage tower at a relatively reasonable time. Man, he had thought that today would turn out to be one of those really dull and completely normal days, but strange things were happening left and right. Sure they weren't eye-popping unnatural, but still different.

Kakashi politely knocked on the door to the Hokage's office and entered when he heard Tsunade's voice bid him to come in.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted automatically while his eye immediately fixed on the sight of the other person in the room. He had half-expected to find the perpetrator in the office, but he didn't really think they would have the audacity to stay in their henge when the ruse was clearly up. It was rude.

The criminal stared at him with hard eyes.

Kakashi studied him for a few seconds before acknowledging Tsunade, but the doppleganger's eyes didn't leave him, "I take it that this is what you wanted to speak with me about?"

Tsunade folded her hands together before replying, "He says he's you."

"Well, he's performed the most pitiful henge of myself that I have ever seen," the copy-nin commented lightly as his _other self_ pointedly glared at him. Upon walking in the room, he had instantly noted that his supposed "mirror image" made the mistake of having two perfectly normal eyes. Come on, the headband over his left eye was a trademark of his that couldn't be left out.

Of course, the person could be _really_ stupid, or more likely there was a long-ass explanation to the nearly identical person staying in his form and having a painfully sloppy disguise.

"Is there a simple way to tell me about this?" Kakashi inquired.

"Actually, I can pretty much sum it up in four words," she stated it matter-of-factly.

Kakashi waited for the dramatic pause to end.

"He's from another dimension."

The two continued their unblinking stares at Kakashi, gauging his reaction. He knew that they were waiting for him to say something, so he made sure he didn't disappoint.

"Ah."

oOoOoOo

Yes, I will explain about The Booger in later chapters. Maybe even the next one if it turns out right. I wasn't too sure if I should have added it in there at first since I thought it might be a little too much, but I couldn't resist it (I choked on my soda while writing it, suffice to say that I've never had pop go through my nose before . . . It burns). Actually, I think that I may have heard Gai refered to in that manner before, but I'm not sure. I also meant to make this a really dark and kinda' short story, but like I said before, my humor somehow leaked into it (as it does with most things). All in all, I'm having fun with this.


	2. Annoyance

Whoot! Update from me! Hurrah!

oOoOoOo

Tsunade didn't respond, but raised her eyebrows at his one syllable comment in a manner that suggested _That's it?_

Kakashi, for the sake of filling up the small void of noise said, "What else can I say to a statement like that? I mean, I'm not going to toss the idea completely away, but it _is_ far-fetched."

The other individual surprised them by saying, "It could all just be a dream."

Kakashi noted the look-alike's voice, for some reason he didn't really expect the man to talk. He would like to say that it sounded nothing like his voice, but then again, a person's perception of their own voice was different than it really was, so who was he to say that it wasn't very much like his own?

"Actually," Tsunade said, "I was at first thinking it was a liqueur induced hallucination until Gai came along. Then again, Gai is the type of person some might expect to see in a hallucination."

Kakashi silently agreed as Tsunade continued, "However, I have questioned him extensively on matters that only you would know or can do. He seems to be the real thing. That or simply a clone."

He blinked, "You mean, like a bunshin?"

"I mean like a DNA replica of yourself. This could all be a clever ruse set up by Orochimaru," Tsunade elaborated, "We all know of his interests in the sciences. Maybe he discovered a way to successfully clone a person and advance the aging process somehow to make him be just as old as yourself."

"I'm _not_ a clone," the other practically growled out.

Kakashi wished that this person, who was obviously not him, would stop talking. Kakashi always thought of himself as pretty open-minded, but a large part of him was wanting the other to shut-up. The less the other spoke, blinked, breathed, glared at himself, or stood in his vision, the easier it was to focus on willing him to stop existing. Too many problems would arise with his doppelganger in the vicinity for any amount of time. This conversation, for instance, that they were having right now, was something he didn't really want to have and therefore, was a problem.

"It wouldn't be completely far-fetched," Tsunade stated, "After all, you told me not so long ago that you had a theory on other dimensions."

"Well, it was a theory," said Kakashi, "It wasn't something that I completely took seriously."

Tsunade seemed to be growing annoyed at the situation, "I think now would be a good time to take it seriously. Look, as much as I'd like to ignore all this, I really can't, and I'd like to get this out of the way as soon as possible. I'm completely convinced that this is authentic and I am not going to wait for you to soak it in."

This could be a problem. Tsunade was only this impatient when she wanted someone to do something. Sometimes her methods of attack involved tossing a person into the fray with little warning so that they would have a little chance of escape.

"Now, I have a mission for you," Tsunade said to himself.

_Yep, here it is._

"Your mission is to do some research on this guy," Tsunade explained while the doppelganger gained a slightly offended look, "I want you to try to find out how different, or similar, he is to you. Then see if you can think of a way to send him back, and see if there is a chance of any others popping up. I really don't want anyone claiming to be me running around town."

Kakashi doubted the town would be able to survive with another Tsunade; one was enough trouble. Two would probably cause the country's economy to collapse.

"I'm on it," Kakashi said dutifully and headed towards the door.

"Hold it!" Tsunade shouted and effectively made him pause and turn. He had really hoped that he could have left right then. The sannin huffed with a great deal of annoyance, "Your taking _him _with you." The second Kakashi clearly didn't appreciate her tone and sent a heavy glare in the woman's direction.

"There's not enough room in my apartment," Kakashi immediately said, knowing where this was going.

"Don't make excuses, he's your responsibility," she said easily.

The other continued to persist in existence by stating, "I'll be fine on my own."

"There's no way around this," said Tsunade, "It'll be easier for all of us, if you take him right now. And if you don't, I have no qualms over having the both of you detained and interrogated."

Okay, now she was on the receiving end of two death glares that had the potential to send an army of ninjas fleeing and change their soiled underpants. Unfortunately for the both of them, she didn't back down and continued to keep a stubborn frown on her face that expressed "Refuse and feel the pain of my fist burrowed deep in your eye-sockets and giving your brain a noogie".

"Fine," Kakashi gave in and turned to his mutually unhappy other, "Come on then."

They left the room quickly and politely slammed the door shut. Despite their swift steps, they were close enough to pick up on the slight sound of a "POP!" that could only be related to that of a cork being released from a bottle.

oOo

Kakashi had mostly ignored his shadow that trailed after him as they made their way to his apartment.

Of course, ignoring the other didn't mean that he was stupid enough to let his guard down. He just didn't bother to engage in any conversation or make eye contact with his "other self", if that's who this person truly was. As for other things, he kept an ear out for any suspicious noises the other might make, and made sure he was prepared for any sudden moves. It was a manner of ignoring that he typically used with people he really didn't like or trust.

It was a little odd though. He supposed that many people might be excited or frightened by the idea of meeting someone like themselves. He wasn't like many people though. When he looked at his alternate self, all he could feel was annoyance and perhaps a little bit of hatred.

That is to say, of course, that this person was genuine. In actuality, he didn't think that an alternate-Kakashi was that far-off. It was likely possible since he did believe in other dimensions. In fact, the more seconds that ticked by, the more Kakashi was sure that this was something very real. This person definitely wasn't exactly like him, but the similarities were undeniably there. Things that even a professional impersonator would have trouble copying; the manner of walking in an upright gait, slightly suspicious eyes with a hint of boredom, the preference to keeping his weight on his right side, arms to the sides in a very controlled manner, and a silence that usually occurred when the mind was busy. These things were extremely nostalgic to Kakashi and it wasn't difficult to figure out exactly where the differences in their present states stemmed from.

Kakashi had good reason to not like this guy.

They had continued their quiet walk for a few more minutes that wasn't really that interesting other than the fact that some people were doing double takes when they caught sight of the two. It was a little too late to consider leaping on the roofs since they were nearly there, but it made him want to slap his forehead at his own stupidity.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, _Why didn't I think of traveling by rooftop before-hand? I should have seen this coming, but thanks to Mr. Clone, I got distracted by keeping an eye on him. This guy really is nothing but trouble, now the town is going to think I have a twin or something._

Actually, that idea wasn't such a bad one. Wouldn't it be interesting to strike terror into the hearts of others by saying "Hey, if you think Kakashi's bad, well, you haven't met his evil twin brother." Just think about the horrified expressions on his enemies' faces after hearing that. Kakashi enjoyed the mental image and let out a quiet chuckle that earned a condescending look from The Other.

They finally arrived at their destination that consisted of a four-story building without any notable qualities. Kakashi walked through the front door and made his way up the staircase to the third floor.

Why didn't they just go through the window if their ninjas? Well, because Kakashi used to do that until the building across from his received a new tenant. This woman was convinced that the only reason Kakashi would use his windows in such a manner was to have an excuse to look at the her lacy undergarments. He didn't want to have to plead his case again, so stairs it was.

Kakashi reached his door and lazily patted his pockets for his keys. Surprisingly, he set a new record in locating his keys, but opened his door with the same haste of a man who knows that his wife is on the other side with a handful of his porno magazines in one hand and a rolling pin in the other.

They walked through the doorway and into the modest living quarters without any trouble, which must have been a bad thing since his other self commented, "I'm surprised that you don't have any traps set up."

Kakashi snorted, "What kind of idiot ninja would go through the front door?"

"You'd be surprised by how many idiots there are in the world," The Other walked in further and took in the sight of the combined kitchen and living room, and then the limited number of doors in the room, "Your apartment is tiny."

Kakashi crouched near his front door to check his mail and replied, "Well, anyone stupid enough to break into my apartment would realize that I have nothing of value to steal and nothing worthy of blackmail. Anyway, you heard me when I said that there wasn't enough room for anyone else to stay with me."

_Bill, bill, junk-mail--Oh look, paycheck. Hm. Junk-mail, bill, ju--wait a minute, I never applied for this, why are they billing me? I'll have to fix that. Junk-mail, junk-mail, coupons, catalog, newspaper, junk-mail, where do these people get my address?_

The Other noticed his Icha-Icha collection and picked up one of the books from the shelf and browsed over it's cover, "I would say that is very worthy of blackmail. Does anyone else know about your, uh, _romance _novels?"

The good thing about being a ninja of Kakashi's caliber, is that it comes with the strength to crumple up a two-hundred something page catalog like tissue paper that can be used as great ammo and aimed at desired heads. Unfortunately, The Other easily dodged the missile with a tilt of his head.

"Watch it, brat" growled Kakashi, "That's the collector's edition gold series and if you leave the oil from your fingers on the cover, I'll snap them in half. And for your information, everyone knows that I read them."

"Sounds like it would make a better hostage than blackmail," said The Other with the shape of a coy grin underneath his mask.

"Nope," the Copy-nin said sadistically, "it sounds like someone wants to sleep on the couch tonight."

"Isn't it customary to let the guest have a bed? It's only the polite and proper thing to do," The Other said in a subtly mocking voice.

"_A _bed?" Kakashi laughed, "There's only one bed here, and it's mine, so deal with it."

The Other must not have cared much for Kakashi's hospitality and said, "You must have a pitifully small income if this is all you can afford. What do you normally do for extra money? Polish shoes?"

Kakashi just smiled broadly, not that it would have mattered really, "That's only my second job, nothing compared to the importance of the first one."

"And what would that be, being a sad excuse for a ninja?" The Other put down the prized tome then moved to sit down on the couch and surprised Kakashi by actually landing on the cushions. He would have expected the pest to bounce back up due to the thick obnoxious air that was surrounding him.

With a great deal of drama, Kakashi said, "No, my first and foremost job--wait, no--duty, is to be, before anything else, a model and ideal citizen for the depraved people and children of the town to look up to."

The Other stared at him quietly before saying, "Your screwed up."

Mentally, Kakashi agreed with him. He had actually stolen that line from Gai, but his other self didn't have to know that (and actually, neither did Gai). It was all pretty amusing really. Just by that three worded sentence, Kakashi could tell that he had confused The Other to interesting proportions. He could tell that this other was turning cogs in his head and trying to decide whether or not to believe Kakashi, but since he didn't know Kakashi well enough yet, he couldn't accurately make a correct decision.

"How can you say that you plan to be a model citizen if you have a large collection of porn and won't let a guest take the bed?" The Other suddenly asked.

_Curses. He actually has a brain. It would have been fun to string him along for a while._

"You notice that couch your sitting on? That's your bed. Happy now? Well, I am. Bye!" Kakashi gave an energetic wave and zipped out the door, leaving an understandably befuddled silence in the room.

oOoOoOo

You might call this update a tribute in celebration of Chapter 449 in the Naruto series. Awrauhite!


End file.
